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At the beginning of May 2024, I noticed a small round lump in my left breast. It was not visible externally, and nothing else had changed externally. But when I touched it, the area was sensitive. I would say it felt inflamed under the skin. Since I wasn't worried about it, I waited a few weeks to see if it would go away on its own. It didn't, and the inflammation started to bother me. So I went to my gynecologist. She suspected it was a lipoma and sent me to radiology.

Since I didn't want to have a mammogram, I opted for a high-resolution ultrasound. The radiologist said it wasn't a lipoma. This can be recognized by the shadows, the lack of clear edges, and the gray color (cysts or lipomas are black). A biopsy was recommended for clarification, which we performed immediately.

At the end of May/beginning of June 2024, the child had a name: invasive lobular breast cancer 5b5 measuring 9 mm. Since I have been dealing with 5bn for over 14 years, I naturally picked up the findings myself and avoided any conversation or being told the diagnosis. So I started searching.

I am 35 years old, do not take any hormones or other medications, and am naturally right-handed. According to this, I should look for a conflict of concern/dispute or nest conflict on the mother/child side on the left. At first, I couldn't think of anything specific. My relationship with my mother is not the best, but it's nothing that would have shocked me. My son was also out of the question, and the nest issue simply did not fit.

Since I was not getting anywhere, I contacted Thorsten for support. The closest we came to a conclusion was my current relationship with “the nest in danger” in the event of a separation. I left it at that for the time being and planned surgery outside the guidelines due to the progressive inflammation.

The purely surgical removal took place in Munich at the beginning of July. No sentinel lymph nodes were removed and no further measures were taken (chemo, radiation, tamoxifen, etc.). The subsequent findings were a 9 mm lesion, but with a main spindle of 3.8 cm. The surgery left me with a 4 cm scar, but also with the answer to how long I had been searching (1 mm per month calculated from the KI67 growth rate). The incident had happened 3-4 years ago.

During a phone call with my friend about the search, it suddenly dawned on me. During this period, my grandmother's dementia (I grew up with her!) began to become so severe that a solution had to be found. My mother unexpectedly gave up my grandmother's apartment and took her in for the time being. One day, I unlocked the apartment (my nest! my home!) and found moving boxes everywhere. My grandmother was gone (care conflict!). I didn't know where she was, as I had no contact with my mother at the time (conflict of interest?). The whole scenario took a long time because my grandmother lived temporarily with my mother, with me, and then with my sister before she moved into a nursing home in 2021. Here, too, the worry continued until she finally got a single room and really settled in and felt at home (mid-April 2024!).

In February 2025, I went back to the radiologist because I wanted to fill in the area of my breast with my own fat to conceal the missing tissue. A cyst was found next to the scar, which had completed the healing phase and would probably have gone away on its own. But I apparently had to determine the time frame due to the surgery.